On today's episode of The Stroke It Guide, I sit down with life coach and best-selling author Nancy Pickard. At 67 years young Nancy is a spitfire who lives life to the fullest, and her passion is to teach others to do the same. Today's episode is a great listen for anyone in a relationship or anyone who struggles with their self-worth and confidence. Nancy brings her wit and wisdom to the table making for an informative and thought-provoking episode.
We start with how we can stroke our partners and care for our relationships. If you’ve ever found yourself upset and arguing with your spouse Nancy reminds us “That's not actually the wise adult part of your brain, it's the adaptive child part.” So when we respond in the heat of the moment we’re responding like a child. Instead, we should take time away from the situation until we can respond as adults. She shares several helpful techniques for this including taking timeouts, following a boundary script, or a feedback wheel. Each of these techniques allows you to separate your feelings and emotions from your partner's action (or in some cases inaction), yet still fully express how it makes you feel. We also touch on the concept of relational generosity. “Relational generosity is about communication. It's about giving your partner what they want whenever you can because they're your partner.”
Today's episode isn’t just about our significant others. Nancy advocates that our happiness ultimately comes from within and that we decide our worthiness.
Nancy shared, “My self-worth was a direct correlation to how my husband saw me or how other people saw me. Now my self-worth is based on how I see myself…I know I'm worthy. I stand in my worth. I ask for what I want. I do the things that I want.”
Nancy’s tip for finding that confidence in yourself is embracing self-care, and spending time with yourself. Don’t forget to cultivate friendships and live in gratitude. Her closing advice is “Ask for what you need.” No one can read your mind, so you need to get clear about what you need and want so that you can ask for it specifically.
About Nancy Pickard
Splitting her time between Aspen, Colorado, and Marin, California, Nancy is a certified Master Integrative Life Coach with a myriad of coaching certifications specializing in shadow work, boundaries, marriage and relationship, healing your heart, reinvention, and parenting. She is the author of the international best-selling book, Bigger Better Braver: Conquer your fears, Embrace your courage, Transform your life. Coaching others to step out of fear and into bigger versions of themselves is her passion.
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